Self-care is important but harmful too. Read to know how and when?

Putting myself  out there first in the priority list every single time is self-care 
or maybe
Not being reasonable and accountable for whatever I do is self-care
Right?

Wrong!
Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury.

Before I get into the why and how aspects, let’s get a steer clear on what actually self-care is? 

What is self-care?

Self-care is aiding yourself physical and emotional well being. "Well-being" being the keyword here
Simple and sweet. That’s what it is!


self-care-benefits

  • Watching Netflix is cool but to a limit where it doesn’t mix up with your healthy routine, 
  • Going on a month-long vacation is awesome until you are financially secured even after spending on that vacation,
Self-care should be a chunk of your daily life routine, not once in a while, out of the blue, sudden plans.

self-care-harmful

Now to the why and how aspects.

What is self-care recipe then?

Doing stuff(anything that is good) that makes you calm and 
happy PLUS keeping in mind that those kinds of stuff  should bring you wellbeing  is the recipe for self-care.


Yes! Self-care is doing what you love but it should never be destructive.


Why is it so hard to practice if it is SELF-CARE?

Here’s the catch, self-care, if done properly, cannot be hard.
It is spontaneous, it cannot be forced. 

When you do something just for the sake of doing and not because you want to do it. Then it’ll cause you more harm than good.

The world says self-care is the perfect remedy for anxiety, stress, discontentment, even depression!
Not just that, there are even some prescribed self-care activities that SHOULD be practiced in the name of self-care but is it really like that?
Sure It may work but not in everyone’s case.


And when people who wanna practice self-care make the mistake of googling “how can I practice self-care”.
BANG!!!
The list of activities pops up and they start following it.

Not because they like doing it, but because people state that claiming it to be the perfect self-care.
What kinda self-care is that?

Go ahead, get inspiration from those whom self-care has helped but don’t follow the exact steps. It will cause you more trouble than you already have and within a few days you may end up being even more self-neglecting than you were before.

And if you are a person with mental problems like anxiety, you may end up feeling even more crappy because when you would see the person, who practiced self-care by going on a month-long vacation and posting pictures with  captions like “ The best way to take care of yourself is to let your soul travel” and realize you couldn’t afford a vacation now, Congratulations! 
You have not only ruined your idea of self-care but also acquired another not-so-amazing feeling called "low self-worth".



You would feel like you don’t deserve self-care because you can’t afford it.


But self-care doesn’t come with a price tag, it comes with a validation tag that says you are worth it and your way of feeling relieved and your way of taking care of yourself is self-care.

Now, a very misleading topic that’s associated with self-care is #myFirstPriorityShouldBeMe.

Good! you should be your priority. That’s what self-care is all about but it's not important to be your #1priority for you to practice self-care.
Taking care of yourself doesn't mean ME FIRST, it means ME TOO - L.R.Knost

You can’t be a good human being without being good to yourself. Even if you attempt to, you’ll feel a void within you that somehow may reflect on your service to others.

BUT!
You can’t be a good human being shelving others to a corner either.

The problem with thinking yourself as your no.1 priority is that we don’t consider enough other priorities then.

Every time, you try to look into those #2,3,4,n priorities, the wrong mantra of self-care clouds your vision and mind and that is "Me first".
This leads to egoism, not self-care.

Self-care is about making time for yourself, not making time for yourself first.

Purpose of Self-care

The purpose of self-care is to make you feel better both physically and mentally.
self-care-purpose

You should feel calm, energized, happy and all this doesn’t come when you practice what others have practiced(albeit, if that’s what you require to feel happy).


  • If you love doing yoga, take time daily and do that
  • If you love painting, take time and do that
  • If you love caffeine, step back and don’t do that because excessive caffeine isn’t healthy and self-care isn’t doing something unhealthy. 
  • Consuming excessive caffeine on a cheat day is self-love, not self-care(don’t confuse both).
The real purpose of self-care
The crux of this concept of “taking care of yourself” is to re-energize yourself, refill your heart and mind with empowering emotions like confidence and courage.
Because why not?
The only reason you are here learning about self-care and practicing it is because YOU CARE ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Simple rule: When you take better care of yourself, you can take care of your loved ones better.

Personal growth checklist


Key categories of self-care

I am no psychologist(though I would love to be), I am a simple human being who wanted to know the real meaning of self-care and here I am unwrapping it for myself as well as you.

The world says that there are five main categories of self-care.

  • Physical, 
  • emotional, 
  • spiritual, 
  • professional, 
  • psychological
Awesome! but I beg to differ

To me, there are only three categories of self-care

  • Physical self-care, 
  • spiritual and 
  • emotional self-care.
I’ll explain why!

Physical self-care

When you keep your health in check, eating, sleeping, sound body you are doing justice with physical self-care.


Spiritual self-care

To tick off or to start emotional self-care practice, then you have to take care of your spiritual connection with God. 
I’ve already discussed this in my post about anxiety and I repeat it here that in order to gain inner strength and stability of emotions, you need to bow your head in front of HIM.

So 

  • praying, 
  • reciting verses from your holy book, 
  • consistently calling upon Him and 
  • helping the needy are to be taken seriously at all times I guess. 


This leads to uncluttering your mind and soothing your heart.


Emotional self-care 

is taking steps to feel self-worthy, 

  • knowing when to say no, 
  • when to step back, 
  • when to let go,  
  • Pouring yourself with positive affirmations, 
  • not allowing anybody to trample your self-esteem. 
  • Not allowing anyone to scale your worth because YOU ARE WORTHY and you don’t need anybody to tell you that.

And when you keep your mind uncluttered, don’t hold grudges, smile, allow yourself to cry, keep your mindset healthy and your heart light then you are automatically ticking off the professional self-care category. 

Because if your mind is calm then you perform starry at your workplace. Engage with your work and workforce well. Agreed?


The most profound myth regarding self-care

I don’t want to list several myths regarding self-care because we all know those myths one way or the other but I want to highlight one grounded myth that we all tend to believe and that is

Self-care will heal you completely. 
It's the only thing you need.

Why self-care is not the only thing you need?

For those who have developed positivity and stability just by practicing self-care and experienced betterment in their mental health, kudos to you! And don’t read this section because this may interrupt your otherwise healthy mindset that “self-care is enough”.

But for those who are putting their heart and soul into practicing self-care and still not seeing effective results lemme tell you 
“self-care is not the only thing that you need”
It’s just a part of your overall well-being and mental peace strategy. 

You need self-love, self-acceptance, confidence, a healthy environment and someone to talk to, you need the freedom to express yourself  
And the list doesn’t stop here. 

And believe me, everything listed above can be found within yourself.
 It’s just that you can do better with self-care and it’s important because it makes you feel loved by yourself.

self-care-important


Because you care for someone when you love them right?  

This is my take on self-care because those 10,20,31 or 101 listed tips and ideas to practice self-care were not fitting with what I want to do and what I love.


Let me know what you think about my perspective of self-care and does your perspective resonate with mine?

If not then let me know what's your take in self=care?

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